Hey there, Reader!

This past weekend, I climbed the vertical feet equivalent to Mount Everest—29,029 feet. I did this with 29029 Everesting in Whistler, BC. When you “reach Everest,” you earn a red hat. This is the fifth red hat I’ve earned with them since 2021.
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People often ask why I keep climbing. There are a few reasons.

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At 16, I lost the ability to walk, and for a time, I didn’t know if I’d be permanently paralyzed. Feeling eventually returned to my right leg, but it took more than a year before I could feel anything in my left leg up to my knee. Even now, I can’t feel much from my knee up, and I experience excruciating pain when I participate in endurance events. But that pain reminds me that I’m alive. I can hike up a mountain, even if it hurts.
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When you choose your challenges, you reclaim your agency. You decide what’s possible for you.​
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Another reason I continue to climb is the community. I get to be surrounded by people who have all sorts of reasons for being on the mountain. They show up as their best selves, whether they reach Everest or not. And that’s inspiring. It gives me renewed energy for what’s possible in my life.
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Doing hard things with others makes it more bearable.​
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Whistler didn’t make it easy on us. It rained from the tail end of my first ascent until just before my last ascent—nearly 30 hours. It was wet, cold, slippery, and downright miserable at times. But I kept going, talking to others along the way, singing to myself, chanting mantras, and soaking (pun intended) in the beauty of my surroundings.
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Sitting with discomfort is powerful. No distractions. No numbing. Just feeling your way through it.​
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Two things emerged for me again and again on the mountain. The first was, don’t expect it to be warm, dry, or comfortable. I didn’t sign up for comfortable or easy, so lamenting the fact that it was even more uncomfortable than expected wasn’t going to help.
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Letting go of expectations brings freedom from suffering.

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The second thing was, how badly do I want it? Climbing that mountain in the cold rain was a personal choice. No one was keeping me there. I could have gone back to the hotel room anytime I wanted. But I made a commitment to myself to finish. Keeping in mind what it means to finish kept me putting one foot in front of the other.
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What’s your goal, and how much does it mean to you? Knowing that will keep you going when the going gets tough.​
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I often say, let it be easy, but don’t expect it to be easy. When life is going smoothly, it’s easy to expect or become attached to the idea that it will always be that way. Then, life has a way of kicking our butts, reminding us that good times give way to hard times, and eventually, the good comes back around.
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Where are you holding too tightly to how it should be? How unfair things are? How hard things are?
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The hard times come for us all, and we have to weather them. There are good times on the other side. It might not feel like it when we’re in it, but it’s true.
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Getting that red hat filled me with so much joy. The pain and discomfort of the previous 34 hours became irrelevant at that moment. It was just part of getting to the joy.​
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TLDR: When you’re in the midst of the challenge, surround yourself with people who lift you up. Set a goal that truly matters to you and let it drive you forward. Then, let go of all the expectations of how things should be, because clinging to them will only cause more suffering. It’s going to be how it’s going to be, and that’s okay. We don’t need it to be easy.

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With love,

Adrienne

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PS: Don't miss this week’s episode of the Living with Loss podcast, Episode 075: Bring The Joy Even When It Feels Hard. Tune in to learn how to cultivate joy, even in the toughest times. You won’t want to miss it!

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In the midst of grief? Check out my book, Scattered Thoughts on Loss: Grief Haikus. Available here on Amazon.​